Week 2

Challenge: Go to California Pizza Kitchen in the Kahala Mall for dinner, by yourself. Sit at the counter, any open seat, but preferably in the middle of the counter so that you have people on either side of you. Have a good dinner (or at least as good as you can get at CPK), and possibly engage in conversation with the people on your left or right.
Submitted by: Barry M.

When this challenge was sent to me, I laughed, because at the time it seemed impossible. I figured that Time would be friendly, and issue this challenge when I was ready. But I was wrong. So wrong, so wrong.

The Monday that I selected this challenge, I almost cried. I spent hours online for three days, Googling "how to eat alone at a restaurant." Surprisingly, there were over a million results to my search. It turns out, eating alone can be a rather pleasant and enjoyable experience. I never would have thought. After reading a countless amount of blogs recounting solo dining experiences and other tips and tricks, I felt ready. I may have even been looking forward to it. From what I read, eating alone was romantic, and what I'd have to say after I'd done it, I was sure, would be poetry.

Wednesday was the day. DC drove me to the mall, and agreed to walk me to the restaurant. We walked across the parking lot, and my hands began to sweat. Maybe this is a bad idea. I could do this another day. Just not right now. Inside the mall, the California Pizza Kitchen waited. From thirty feet away, behind a cellphone kiosk, I surveyed the battlegrounds. It wasn't how I pictured it would be. There were too many customers. Too many high school students. Too many employees. Too many lights. Far too few tables inside to go about unnoticed.
I rushed past the entrance of the restaurant to get a better view inside. I rushed back to see if it looked conquerable. Nope.

DC was with me the entire time. He was very encouraging and seemed certain that I could complete this challenge. There in the mall, surrounded by strangers and a few of my greatest fears, I wasn't so sure. So when he bid me good luck and turned to leave, I panicked. I am ashamed to admit that at about this time, I reverted back to my 4-year-old self. I grabbed his arm and begged him to stay. I may or may not have cried a little as I pleaded for an out. When I was less of a child, I explained to him how much I longed for Boldness and that I would do just about anything to get it. Now, I take it back! I take it all back. I'm fine where I am. Don't make me do this. Don't make me go in there alone, even if I said I wanted to before! DC was firm. He was being a good friend. You know, the kind that makes you do what you have to, to be who you want to. The kind who knows better. So it's my fault, not his, that I am here now to tell you that I've failed to complete this challenge.

I'm sorry that I've let you down again, and that this apology seems to have little weight, but I mean every word. I've let myself down as well. Something has to change. I am not abandoning my quest for boldness, but I am going to find another path to get there. I still have everyone's challenges, and I still want to complete them all. The only change is that I'm giving myself longer to do so. This, I think, shall ensure my sanity for at least a few more years. And one day, you'll all see the me I'm meant to be.